Natural disaster

      

      When you hold on so much and don't cry when you feel like crying, your heart betrays you eventually. And your eyes, even before you notice, release all those tears you kept inside for so long. Then it becomes so much harder to handle them... Now that's what I call a spiritual flood, the only flood in the world that can make you feel better... If you are strong enough not to lose control...

Anomalies

•Huge heart vs. nothing to fill it with

•Feeling like crying and throwing up your crappy soul vs. doing your best to smile and look happy

•Unhappy parents vs. those shitty people making their lives miserable

•So much cold undesired winter inside and outside vs. craving for spring, warmth and sunny days

•Saying “yes” vs. actually wanting to say “no”

•A big bed vs. no one to sleep next to you

•Too many beautiful dreams vs. having no one to share them with and make them come true

•Ardent desire to do so many things vs. lack of time and / or money

•Designed to become THAT someone vs. feeling like a character in the wrong movie

Etc. etc. etc…

Once upon a thousand times (2)

 I was... I am...

Once upon a time I was a cherry... Living on the highest branch, with my best friend, a striped sparrow... I remember he was there from the very day I was born. I was a bud, shy and shivering in the still cold wind of spring. Watching everything around, trying to get used to the height, enjoying every moment when my friend was there, especially when the sun was going to sleep… His song was my favourite lullaby...

  I was growing up so fast, becoming an innocent flower, that kind of flower that brings peace inside a soul.  After a while, my petals fell. All of us lost their pure dresses. I was so sad. Only the humans were full of joy and I can’t figure out why...

  Then I got round and began to fatten, blushing everyday more. I think my left cheek was a little bit more shiny.

  I still remember the day the humans killed my brothers… I can’t forget the horror! One rapacious hand  tried so badly to grab me, but I was unreachable, fortunately. From that moment on I knew that wasn’t a coincidence… But what life had in store for me was a complete mystery. I was left there, on my branch, all alone… Even my friend visited me very rarely. He had a family of his own…

    I used to wonder how long it will take until I… I fall, until I crush, smashing my red face on the ground… and die…

    I was so afraid… and sad as I felt something growing inside me, a soul, a life… Was it a heart? Was it a baby, a piece of me? Or what…? I wanted to know so many things, but who could give me all the answers?...

    I didn’t have time to find out because… well, yes, on a muddy rainy day the unexpected happened. I was caught by an unknown force,  pulling me down… down… down… I felt no pain, to my surprise… I was buried deep inside the hungry cold ground. I closed my entire being, putting aside all that I have ever lived, seen or felt…

    It was then when I was reborn, when that something I was feeling inside came out, not a baby, but my soul… The new me, the new life bringer… It was then when I began to be what I am now, leaf by leaf, flower by flower, branch by branch, growing every year more, becoming that cherry tree I never thought I would be… Hosting now hundreds of cherries  like I once was… I am so proud of them… And come to think I would have never enjoyed all this without their help, their efforts, their water during the droughty days…Maybe humans are not that bad after all...

Doctor

Taking care of all these souls is not an easy job. Is like trying to remove the dust from a bunch of already cracked crystal glasses. Every second there is a high risk of breaking them, only by touching them. 

There's no other way... You love them all and you can't let them get lost in the misery. If only you could be able to remove all the spots that cover their beautiful petals, if only you could put a smile on their lips forever and erase those heavy tears, if only you could repair their hurt wings so that they can fly again carelessly...

But you can only look them in the eyes, open your heart, your special box of good advices and fairy words and show them how much you care from the bottom of your heart. You suddenly transform into their strongest pillar in their worst moments. You gladly offer them your shoulder if they need it, a helping hand and your entire support... Though... you wish they never needed all this. You wish their lives were flawless, cloudless, you wish they had a thousand reasons to smile and be happy... forever...

Far from reality, lost in all these dreams and hopes, you raise, look in the mirror: "What about your soul?..." 
You smile, take a deep breath and: "My soul? It can wait, even a lifetime. Don't worry..."

Doi

Praful de stele din ochii gri şi cuminţi,

mâna pe jumătate adormită, prinsă în mrejele castanii încă...

Vocea ta, floare delicată de magnolie,

vibrând alene prin vise în culori.

Bucăţi din tine!

Le adun şi le spulber,

le strâng într-un pumn de amintiri frumoase

şi le arunc la întâmplare...

Vântul nervos le împrăştie departe,

unde nici cu gândul nu pot ajunge.

Le transformă, le modelează haotic.

Te ascunde, te schimbă...

Nu rămâne nimic pentru o clipă... nici măcar speranţa...

Inimă grea, otrăvită...

Frunză uscată de arţar, călcată în picioare de un miriapod;

Inimă spartă, crestată pe margini fără milă...

Dar...

Fluturi grei, aripi ascunse în lumini

îţi povestesc singura cale pe care o cunoşti dintotdeauna...

Paşi din cer te poartă înapoi viu, complet, până la ultima picătură de sânge.

Te primesc şi te cutremuri...

Îmi săruţi venele, parfumul, gândurile, fiinţa!

Te ating, te prind, te gust, te trăiesc!

Changes

Is that evil angel sitting on his left shoulder... Kisses get bitter, the sunrise is burning and growing up has never hurt this bad. 

It's like having picked the wrong fortune cookie, predicting the bad luck, the misery he is going to go through from now on. Those so much craved sweets, those random pieces, those full of mystery steps on the floor... 

Nothing changed, he keeps singing the same songs, touching the same hands, calling the same past, but still the courage is low and he cannot be there anymore... His heart is broken and gave up waiting. Playing by the same rules is no longer acceptable and desired...

Now he's going to that place, the only one he knows and needs now... The boulevard of broken hearts...

Once upon a thousand times (1)

   

 Burden

   Once upon a time, there was an empty box, called Luce. Wooden, classically carved, destined to be a shelter for burdens.

    Luce was waiting everyday to be filled by something. But no one seemed to notice he existed. They kept him in a corner, in the attic ever since they brought him. Anyway, he was patient, dreaming that some good books will be his guests some day. Those sweet love novels written by a famous writer he has heard about so often. Or maybe he’ll have the chance to keep inside the history of a baby, some colourful toys the little one has played with during his early years. Or who knows what they  might use him for… This is the way Luce spent his existence, thinking and waiting, and thinking and waiting, and….

    One day, he felt something very unpleasant, heavy, like someone had dropped all the darkness in the Universe inside… What was that? He suddenly felt sad, depressed, unhappy, all these together and he realized that what was thrown in there, invading his space, his emptiness, was a dead, miserable, broken heart. A heart that has passed through the rainiest autumn ever, that has endeavoured too many avalanches, that had nothing left… Nothing but this box to lay down and put itself together, maybe...

    Luce, as the time went by, felt that this new unexpected burden became every day more unbearable, but isn’t this what he was designed for? Wasn’t he waiting for something? He only got what he desired… at least partially…

   

   But then a miracle happened...

Short

This butterfly has cancer... His wings are not dark blue anymore, they are turning pale and he's full of deadly spots... He has been thrown in the middle of chaos, in an acid rain drop that completely changed him... He tried to fly again, to breathe the weight of the storm, to absorb within his tiny soul the last hours of life on a fairy leaf...

But he couldn't make it. He jumped right in the arms of that monster, who was waiting for him, starving and craving for those noble wings, those soft microscopic eyes, that short cursed destiny on Earth...

Who or what can save him? Who or what can make the supreme sacrifice so that he lives?...

No one, of course. Full of hope he will be born again some day, some other life, on another planet; he closes his eyes and cares no more... It's over, right here, right now...

And he didn't even get the chance to...